How comfortable is too comfortable?

You know, when you're dating someone for several months, and you start to slowly phase out of the kissy-wissy-honeymoon phase and into a "real relationship" that unbuttoning the top of your pants might be one step above taking them off while watching TV while your hand is hiding in a curious place.

I have consciously tried to leave the figurative top button unbuttoned and only that top button simply because it is my honest belief that when you get too comfortable, too soon, the relationship will end. And not just end with a *poof! let's see other people, OK bye!* end, but a long, tedious, and rather awful end. The Chemist and I are comfortable. We no longer get weird about having the other one over for dinner (the kind of weird that makes you so nervous you can't eat so you just push food around and watch your girlfriend chow down because she is a self-admitted emotional eater...yeah).

But, I do still make an effort to make good food, have a clean apt, fix my hair, and set a nice table for The Chemist. And I think he likes to take me out and be a gentleman still, placing his hand on the small of my back as we enter doorways and holding my hand across the table as we wait for our order to be taken.

There are several things that I will never do in front or beside Alan and I'm sure he has a list of things he wouldn't do in front of me. But, it's not just gross or personal actions that make a couple "too comfortable". It's the times when there's nothing really left to talk about, besides some TV show you watched on Fox or how excited you were to buy cheese on sale. There's times when going to bed without really a kiss or a hug goodnight is ok because you are both tired and maybe a little annoyed.

I wonder if this is happening to me now. Hard to tell since The Chemist is away, but I wonder if we're reaching the point of no comfortable return? When I talk to him, is he looking into my eyes or just "at" me? When I walk into a room of crowded people, am I still the only person there?

I'd like to think so. Hope so. Know so? I don't know. I talk too much; who knows if he's really listening? Hell, I'd tune myself out after a point.

He's probably going to read this and think I'm way off base, but here's some food for thought: (yes, more food)

-Earlier in the year I wrote about how love should be comfortable- how you should fit together with that other person like a puzzle piece instead of getting all nervous and weird. It's because that person is familiar, not too familiar, and it is a comfort to know that they are around.

-As I move out of the honeymoon phase (which I think I did about a month ago) I'm starting to gain some identity in this relationship as I branch out in meeting new people, creating new "stuff", etc.


So, there's a nice rant for the day. And I promise for this entire entry, I had my top button securely fastened.