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Diet Sodas and HairSpray
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Posted by meredith at 2:49 PM
Saturday, December 27, 2008
With 2009 rapidly approaching, I have made the decision to end The Plot Thickens... and start anew.
Happy Holidays readers and I will be posting a new address for a different blog soon.
I will keep these posts published until I can archive some and then I will be shutting this blog down for good.
Out with the old...
In with the unknown.
Posted by meredith at 5:12 PM
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
I took a mini vacation from this blog and other online writing projects to focus on my last writing workshop class and my new career path.
I'm headed back to school (kinda) to obtain my teacher's certification in order to teach high school English. Seems to me that this would be meaningful work for me and something I would enjoy.
Anyway, I'm alive. More updates to come.
Posted by meredith at 10:47 AM
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Breaking a glass.
Drop a glass on a hard floor and what happens? It shatters right? All the pieces fall apart. We pick up the sharp edges and we throw them away, curing our clumsy nature or thinking about buying plastic glasses. What we don't do is keep that glass around. It's of no use to us. It no longer holds the water we drink or anything else that we put into it.
But it's really not garbage. Sure, most of us have no nostalgic feelings about a glass, unless it was a gift or something that reminded us of something important. But it's not really trash.
Let's look at this glass again: An event happens which cause the glass to fall to the ground and break apart into pieces. But, what if it falls and only cracks? Or breaks into two large pieces that can be glued back together?
Where is she going with this damn glass?
The glass is of course you and I and the floor, well...the floor is quite literally rock bottom. We are useful at times in our lives, events cause us to fall and sometimes we break apart.
One of those events in life happened this morning. And though I heard the glass break beneath me, one of the loudest crashes I've ever heard, I was surprised when I opened my eyes to see not a million tiny shards of glass, but rather something reusable.
Breaking glasses is inevitable. Mistakes are made, people make choices, things fall apart only enough to fall back together again. Sometimes, that glass wasn't meant to be a glass. OK, maybe it was meant to be a glass but I wasn't. These events that have happened and keep happening to me are driving me in a new direction. It's been a tough year to say the least, complete with looming health problems, job woes, and confidence issues.
I'm still not broken though. I'm still here, with maybe a little less money in my pocket, but with more determination than ever to be what I was supposed to be: a writer. Yes, I'm a writer now and I have been, but I mean a real writer. Someone who writes and publishes her *own* work.
So me, and my slightly cracked body will retire to my laptop, combing through contacts and people I've networked with to try and help me figure this all out. After all, there are many glasses in the cupboard- they all don't have to break.
Posted by meredith at 11:57 AM
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Earth to Bella
you think you've got it all figured in
Earth to Bella
everything you know is wrong
Earth to Bella
i see where you are not listening
I bear the burden
of being the voice the lets you know
we all grow old
and before you swim you've gotta be ok
Earth to Bella
The world can be an unfriendly place
so hold your head up
do your best to save some face
its not so hard
just undo yourself and see the second sun
Ok to sink , I'm Ok to sink
Ok to sink
Posted by meredith at 3:28 PM
Here look, can you see it? See that dot on the map there? That's me. Yeah, I'm in the "Just out of college, trying to make my own path in the world" area. Sort of in between "Already regretting career path" and "Finally being an adult" areas.
See that dot? Yeah, that one way above mine? That's you. You're in the "Well on your way to a successful life" in between "Just made the biggest purchase of my life" and "Career goals are finally coming to fruition" areas.
One lousy comment made over dinner can really put things into perspective. The smallest remark made in jest wasn't so funny after all. I awoke this morning, after discussing, no debating....no arguing! over this comment. It's hard for me to verbalize things sometimes. I either get so upset I say mean things that I don't mean, or I can never really spit out what I should be saying and only end up confusing myself and those around me.
I'm not a planner. I'm a dreamer. I dream all day long, out windows and windshields, during sleep, before sleep, after sleep....I dream. It's fantasy and slightly insane, I realize, but hey, I can't deny that I was the girl at 6 with imaginary dinner parties and shows on Broadway (I would perform CATS and Phantom in my room to a sold out audience of stuff animals).
Anyway, so I dream. I think of things that may happen in the future or dream up short story plots and characters that will probably never grace the pages of my notebook.
Dreaming is troublesome because it has no guarantees. As much as I want to see my dot in the "Just signed a book deal" area, it's nowhere near there. I'm nowhere near where I want to be, where he is, hell, maybe even where my parents want me to be.
So instead, I folded clothes in the dark while arguing, trying to put everything in its right place.
Dots, dishes, comments, clothes - these are all abstract. They don't mean anything in the real world. Just my world. And now I'm left in both worlds wondering what's next. I've never felt this bad after an argument with my boyfriend before. Can't be a good sign.
Posted by meredith at 9:01 AM
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
sour cherry hello kitty candies
special k red berries
new episodes of House
chocolate shakes from burger house
being called doodle
new hello kitty pj's
plastic stud earrings
queen ann necklines
my green scarf
sugar free red bull (only at room temperature)
half of alan's pb&j sandwich at midnight
my grey jetta
dancing in grocery aisles
hot showers on cold days
peanut butter frozen yogurt
tiny valentine's cards
riding in cars
trips to the lake
super mario brothers
bagel and lox
snowglobes from not-so-popular cities
Posted by meredith at 4:45 PM
Monday, October 13, 2008
he's home again. <3
Posted by meredith at 5:14 PM
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell. ~Edna St. Vincent Millay
Where you used to be
On the couch
Driving in your car
By my side
Where you used to be
Standing in the kitchen
Asking if I needed water
Telling me about your day
Where you used to be
Lying on your side
Watching me pretend to sleep
Counting our breaths
Where you used to be
At my front door
Eating at my table
Laughing at my jokes
Where you used to be
That’s where I am now
That’s where I will stay
Until you come home
And be at the places where you used to be
Posted by meredith at 2:07 PM
Saturday, October 04, 2008
Posted by meredith at 11:11 AM
Friday, October 03, 2008
I've changed my myspace and twitter to reflect my new found adoration for all star-shaped candies:
I think it's because I love stars, and lets face it, I love candy too. Now I just need to find these guys at a candy store. I found a Canadian website that would sell me a whole lbs. of these little cuties, but I really don't EVER need a lbs. of candy. Ever.
Posted by meredith at 4:12 PM
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Posted by meredith at 3:05 PM
Monday, September 29, 2008
I learned a new writing method/process this weekend. Instead of sitting and staring at a blank screen or page, I am to start writing lists. Lists of points that I want to write about, anything that comes to mind.
Then, I'd put that list away and start my beginning, my barebones prose, and then the end. Review the list, cross off what I don't need, and then write. Write. Write. Write.
I painted a lot this weekend. I'm almost finished with a piece for the upcoming art show benefiting an AIDS non-profit in Lake Charles. I also started a bizarre painting that I'm not sure if I'll like yet. Just one of those things. I need to head back to Michael's and pick up some more paint, some shiny varnish stuff, and some more canvases. Painting has been enjoyable for me in the past and I am not sure why I gave it up except that my patience wears thin when I mess up something and have to start again.
The Chemist will be home in less than 2 weeks. Mom's coming in town this weekend. Can't really complain about this time apart because even though I get to talk to him for 5-10 min. a day, at least I get to talk to him. Absence makes the heart grow fonder anyway, right?
I'll post some more pictures of paintings in progress. Comments are encouraged!
Posted by meredith at 10:57 AM
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Tomorrow I will attend a writing workshop that will hopefully give me advice, guidance, and support to start a rather large, ambitious project. I'm excited to finally embark on this journey and see what I can create in this class. I'm anxious of course, I'm always a bit anxious.
But I am realizing that I have important stories to tell, important ones about my past, my upbringing, and my family dynamic which has molded me into the woman and writer I am today.
Now, if I could just narrow down my objective...
Posted by meredith at 2:39 PM
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
...and I really miss him already. Not like, incapacitated with misery or anything. Just miss him. Walking in my apartment in the evenings. Smiling. Big hugs. Things I promised I'd never take for granted and clearly do. Here's to 3ish more weeks of missing him.
"Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry
call I'm desperate for your voice
Listening to the song we used to sing...
...and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home..." - Secondhand Serenade
Posted by meredith at 11:00 PM
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
am i rare?
am i odd enough?
am i strange?
am i weak?
am i hopeless?
am i creative?
Posted by meredith at 11:43 AM
Monday, September 22, 2008
You know, when you're dating someone for several months, and you start to slowly phase out of the kissy-wissy-honeymoon phase and into a "real relationship" that unbuttoning the top of your pants might be one step above taking them off while watching TV while your hand is hiding in a curious place.
I have consciously tried to leave the figurative top button unbuttoned and only that top button simply because it is my honest belief that when you get too comfortable, too soon, the relationship will end. And not just end with a *poof! let's see other people, OK bye!* end, but a long, tedious, and rather awful end. The Chemist and I are comfortable. We no longer get weird about having the other one over for dinner (the kind of weird that makes you so nervous you can't eat so you just push food around and watch your girlfriend chow down because she is a self-admitted emotional eater...yeah).
But, I do still make an effort to make good food, have a clean apt, fix my hair, and set a nice table for The Chemist. And I think he likes to take me out and be a gentleman still, placing his hand on the small of my back as we enter doorways and holding my hand across the table as we wait for our order to be taken.
There are several things that I will never do in front or beside Alan and I'm sure he has a list of things he wouldn't do in front of me. But, it's not just gross or personal actions that make a couple "too comfortable". It's the times when there's nothing really left to talk about, besides some TV show you watched on Fox or how excited you were to buy cheese on sale. There's times when going to bed without really a kiss or a hug goodnight is ok because you are both tired and maybe a little annoyed.
I wonder if this is happening to me now. Hard to tell since The Chemist is away, but I wonder if we're reaching the point of no comfortable return? When I talk to him, is he looking into my eyes or just "at" me? When I walk into a room of crowded people, am I still the only person there?
I'd like to think so. Hope so. Know so? I don't know. I talk too much; who knows if he's really listening? Hell, I'd tune myself out after a point.
He's probably going to read this and think I'm way off base, but here's some food for thought: (yes, more food)
-Earlier in the year I wrote about how love should be comfortable- how you should fit together with that other person like a puzzle piece instead of getting all nervous and weird. It's because that person is familiar, not too familiar, and it is a comfort to know that they are around.
-As I move out of the honeymoon phase (which I think I did about a month ago) I'm starting to gain some identity in this relationship as I branch out in meeting new people, creating new "stuff", etc.
So, there's a nice rant for the day. And I promise for this entire entry, I had my top button securely fastened.
Posted by meredith at 2:27 PM
Thursday, September 18, 2008
So The Chemist arrived in CA today for a super secret mission for work. He'll be there for a few weeks, leaving me to my own devices: sleep, reading, writing, and trying hard not to substitute carbs for my boyfriend.
Here's to sleeping on the entire bed, no one to share the remote with, and lonely Sunday nights. Woo.
Posted by meredith at 10:02 PM
I have so many things at work to write and edit today. It's the life of the copywriter isn't it? You write and re-write, and hope you're meeting your target audience on the next re-write. I enjoy it. I enjoy building things and having them renovated only to increase their value. Essay flipping. I'm a machine some days. I churn out the copy on a conveyor belt for people to pick up, examine, put back into the factory to clean up or in packaging to send out to the next website, media outlet, t-shirt- you name it.
I am methodical. I am religious - words are my prayers and strung together I am chanting out blog postings, press releases, email blasts... I am always tired and ready to power down by 5:30 p.m. I rarely malfunction and put out flawed copy unless my mind is occupied with something else or I just can't seem to get a grasp on what "they" are looking for.
I am not this kind of writer at home. I am the kind that sits and broods, drinks wine and eats too much for dinner only to complain some more about how uncomfortable I am, how I just don't seem to belong in this vast world, and how tired my eyes are by 10 p.m. I make excuses for not writing enough. I cry when I read books I could have written better. I lose sight of my goals and watch TV instead. I am pathetic. I am confused. I am a blog away from deletion and starting over with a more exotic name and face. I wish to wear redder lipstick, have darker hair, be more mysterious and poetic at dinner parties. Maybe I should have a signature drink. Or a word.
Or maybe I should wake up on Sundays as the machine, and write like I would the next day and the day after that, and the day after that, until it's Friday and I'm aching for a glass of red wine and good conversation.
Or maybe I should ache for something more substantial. Like a book deal.
Posted by meredith at 12:54 PM